Happily Never After
by LiveLoveLaughLife
Summary: The whole situation was her own stupid fault. She should have never believed that she would get her happy ending. She knew better than that, but she'd let herself get swept away with the blissful idea of true happiness. She set herself up to get disappointed, again. After all, she was the Evil Queen, the villain, and villains don't get happy endings. Post S3 finale.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello there my fellow OUAT fans! After the season finale on Sunday I had too many emotions to deal with, and this story is what came from it. So, if you haven't seen the finale DO NOT read this unless you want spoilers! This story is just a short little one-shot picking up where the finale left off. I'm new to writing for OUAT (this is my first story for this show! Ah!) so be gentle. Constructive criticism and reviews are loved. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own OUAT!**

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Villains don't get happy endings.

As Regina slammed the door to Granny's shut behind her, that one thought echoed around and around in her mind. She all but ran down the sidewalk to put some distance between herself and everyone else in the god-forsaken town. The town that _she_ had created. Regina tried her damnedest to keep her tears locked in her eyes, but it was hardly worth the effort. The realization of never being happy was too much. It was too hard.

Once again, she had lost everything.

Why was she even surprised? Did she honestly believe that she was going to live happily ever after? She was the Evil Queen. No matter how much she tried to change, no matter how much she really _did_ change, no one cared. It barely made a difference. For the past few weeks, she really thought her life was turning around. She defeated Zelena with good magic, she found someone to truly love her, and she made Henry proud. For the first time in years, Regina had felt her heart lighten and a burden disappear from her shoulders.

Then, it was all taken from her in the blink of an eye.

As the tears slipped down her cheeks, Regina swore she could feel her heart crumbling. Is this how it felt when she ripped the hearts from her victims and squeezed them until they turned to dust? For just a moment, she considered ripping her own heart out and squeezing it until there was no more. That would be easier. It would stop the pain for the first time in her entire life. The moment she considered the idea, she quickly changed her mind. No, this pain was what she deserved. Her destiny was to suffer; after all, she had cursed and killed so many. She had stolen so, so many happy endings for her own personal vendetta and she hadn't thought twice about it. She had been a fool to think that she'd ever be accepted or loved when the only thing she deserved was hatred.

The whole situation was her own stupid fault. She should have never believed that she would get her happy ending. She knew better than that, but she'd let herself get swept away with the blissful idea of true happiness. True love. She set herself up to get disappointed, again. After all, she was the Evil Queen, the villain, and _villains don't get happy endings_. Every time she opened herself to love, she got hurt. Crushed. Embarrassed. Every single time, it was ripped away from her. Daniel loved her, and what did that get him? Death. Her father had loved her, and what did she do? Rip his own heart out so that she could destroy Snow White's happiness. The irony that she was once again alone and heartbroken while Snow White was surrounded with those whom she loved was not lost.

Regina couldn't even see where she was walking, the tears blurring her vision so badly. She collapsed into the first bench she saw and wrapped her arms around herself, shaking with sobs. Normally she would never allow herself to break down like this where someone could possibly see her, but she knew that wasn't an issue tonight. Everyone in the town was at Granny's celebrating Snow and Charming's new baby.

Once again, Regina was unwanted and alone.

Once again, Regina was broken.

Once again, Regina felt the familiar swell of hatred and anger darkening her heart.

"Regina?"

She heard her name but she didn't look up. She couldn't. She could barely manage to gasp a few breaths between the sobs that forced their way out of her chest. The thought of unwrapping her arms from herself scared Regina, because she was almost positive she would shatter like a piece of discarded glass.

"We have to talk."

His voice was quiet, unsure. Regina felt his weight on the bench beside her as he sat down. God, she just wanted him to go away. His smell infiltrated her senses and her heart gave a painful clench, making her think back to all of the intimate moments they had spent together. Moments that would never happen again because she didn't deserve them.

A warm, calloused, hand rested gently on her shoulder and Regina jerked away quickly. Her head whipped up to shoot him the cruelest glare she could muster with the tears blurring her vision and make-up running down her cheeks. Despite having many years of practice at being the evilest of them all, at this moment Regina felt the weakest and the most powerless she ever had.

"Don't touch me." She hissed. "Don't you ever touch me again."

He looked hurt, but he stayed where he was. His hand fidgeted as he weighed the pros and cons of reaching out to her again. He decided not to, instead just letting her name slip from his lips, "Regina—,"

"Go back to your family!" She yelled. She couldn't be near him any longer. She couldn't take the torture of having him be so close to her, but not want her. She nearly leaped off of the bench, turning on her heel as she moved to flee from the situation.

His hand caught her wrist and stopped her in her tracks, forcing her to turn and look at him. As their eyes met, she thought about burying herself in his embrace and throwing a fireball at his face all at the same time. Her emotions were so conflicted and screwed up that she couldn't tell whether she was sad or angry or everything in between.

"We have to talk about this." Robin Hood said, voice quiet and even. "Please. It can't end this way."

Regina's breathing was labored as she tried to deal with the multitude of emotions flowing through her veins. "I don't want to talk to you about anything." She tried to pull her arm away from him, but his grasp was relentless. "You have one chance to let go of me before I rip your heart out!"

For just a moment, the Evil Queen had taken over. The amount of forcefulness in her voice shocked her because it had been so long since she'd used it. When she saw Robin's eyes, she instantly regretted her words.

"Is that what you were going to do to Marian?" He asked roughly.

Regina froze. As much as she didn't want to admit it, her entire being was aching for him to tell her that he still loved her, that he chose _her_ and not his old wife, but his words ruined what little hope she was clinging too. She should have known it would never happen. How could she compete with the mother of his child? The first woman he truly loved? The woman he would have walked through hell to get back? Especially when she was the reason that woman was supposed to be dead. She hated herself even more for grasping so pathetically to that tiny shred of hope. What was wrong with her? She knew he would never choose her over Marian, but she couldn't resist wishing.

Too bad her wishes never came true.

In that moment, Regina Mills felt something she had never felt in her entire life. It was as if her realization triggered something inside of her that finally decided that it was time to give up. She felt all of her emotion simply drain away. She was empty. Her anger and hatred seemed to evaporate into oblivion as a strange feeling of nothingness took over. Her sadness and heartache simply disappeared. Inside, she felt like there was a huge void. It was worse than when her heart had been stolen; even then, she could feel. Now, there was nothing. As she stared into Robin's eyes, his hurt and betrayed expression washing over her, the only thing she could feel was…hollow.

"No." She replied quietly. The tears pooled in her eyes, but they did not fall. "The guards would have executed her."

"But you would have ordered them too." Robin's grip on her wrist grew tighter, but Regina barely noticed. "And for what reason? For protecting someone innocent?"

As she dropped her gaze from his eyes, she simply murmured, "That's correct."

Robin stood staring at her for one tense moment, but then dropped her wrist. Her arm fell limply to her side and Regina took a small step backward.

"I really thought you had changed." He said, his voice full of hurt and anger. "I knew the stories, Regina. I knew what you'd done in the Enchanted Forest…but when I got to know you I couldn't believe it. I never saw you as evil, just broken and on the mend. I believed in you and I wanted you to believe in yourself. But now," His voice faltered and Regina briefly wondered why he was so emotional over her, but she refused to look at his face. He kept speaking regardless, "Now I see you for what you are. Marian told me everything that you did to her but I still wanted to see you again. I didn't want to believe it was true." His voice was gruff with emotion as he paused to gather himself. "This is a hell of a lot to drop on a guy in one night, and I was confused, Regina, because I think I really could have loved you. I _did_ love you."

The words stung, but Regina still could only feel the emptiness. It was a scary feeling; she'd always held tightly onto her anger to get rid of her sadness. Her thirst for vengeance had always been her way of defending herself from the pain. Anger was safe, anger was controllable. Heartbreak and sadness were not. It was just easier to be angry than it was to be sad. But, right now, she had no quest for vengeance. It was as if she'd suffered so much that she'd finally reached her breaking point and, when she broke, all she was left with was an empty, unfeeling, shell of her former self.

Robin Hood stared at her for another moment, and then took a step away. Before he left her there, he glanced over his shoulder one last time, "I don't want you near Roland. Stay away from him, and Marian, or you'll have to deal with my bow. It never misses its target."

And with that, he took off down the sidewalk and out of her life.

Regina stood there in the dark for a few moments before turning and quietly walking towards her big, lonely, mansion.

She hated Emma Swan for doing this to her but, then again, she didn't. Regina was the villain. Regina was always the bad guy. Regina ruined so, _so_ many lives. It was only fair that she got cheated out of her happiness every single time.

Villains don't get happy endings.

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**A/N: I'd love to hear what you thought! I've been playing around with the idea of making this into a multi-chap fic (with a happy ending, I promise), so if you'd be interested in reading a continuation let me know. If anyone would like to read it, I would love to write it. Or if you think this would be better left as it is, I'd love to know. Thanks for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Let me start off by saying...WOW. Holy _crap_, you _guys! _I am completely and utterly blown away by the response to this story! I've never received that many reviews, favorites, or follows on one chapter before! I'm so excited that everyone seemed to enjoy it and that so many people would like to read more! This is the first thing I've published here on fanfiction for a few years, and I owe OUAT's wonderful storyline for giving me my writing muse back. I want to thank everyone taking the time to read this, too. Without your words of encouragement this would have remained a oneshot.**

**Just to make sure everything is clear - this story will be Outlaw Queen. It may take some time...but it will be. The other ships that may or may not make an appearance will be Captain Swan, Snowing, Rumbelle, and some Swan Queen friendship. :) So, without further ado...chapter 2!**

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"Emma?"

"Hm?"

Emma Swan was sitting in the center of the Charming household living room, various tools and parts to a baby crib scattered around her. Snow had found a crib she liked better than the last one they put together, so here she was, fighting with directions once again. How she had managed to get roped into this, she would never know. David had been helping, but as soon as baby Neal started crying he had ditched her to go soothe his son. Emma was in the midst of weighing the pros and cons of changing a dirty diaper versus trying to assemble this mess of wood and bolts when Henry had spoken up.

When he didn't say anything immediately after her grunt of a response, Emma looked up from the directions she was holding. He was sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen counter fiddling with a string on his jeans. He looked troubled.

"Hey, kid." She said, giving him her full attention. He looked at her. "What's up?"

Henry sighed. "I'm worried about my mom."

Emma's eyes softened and she felt a pang of guilt in her chest. No one had seen nor heard from Regina for the past week, ever since Emma and Hook had brought Marian back from the past with them. Emma knew that it was only a matter of time before Regina's wrath was felt, so she had been trying to go back to a relatively normal life before the Evil Queen tried to set her aflame or send her to another dimension.

In her desire to go back to a happy life with her parents, Henry, new baby brother, and now whatever her and Hook were, she'd forgotten one simple fact: Henry loved Regina. A new wave of guilt washed over her as she realized she didn't even think about how Henry must be dealing with the whole situation. He loved his adoptive mother and Emma knew Regina loved him. If there was one person Regina wouldn't freeze out, it would be Henry. But, judging from his forlorn expression, he hadn't spoken to her.

Emma got up off the floor and made her way over to him, ruffling his hair a bit. "I'm sure she's fine. Break ups really suck, you'll understand that when you're older." Her attempt at a joke fell flat as Henry just shrugged. Emma sighed. "Listen, she probably just needs some alone time to deal with everything. Your mom isn't the kind of person to let people see her be sad."

"Yeah," He sighed, but dropped his gaze. "I just hope she's okay. I have a bad feeling."

"Have you gone over there to visit lately?" She asked, even though she knew the answer.

However, Henry's reply surprised her. "I tried," He said sadly. "I went over twice after school this week but she wouldn't answer. She just said it wasn't a good time and didn't even open the door."

Henry looked like he was about to cry, and Emma felt a familiar surge of anger towards Regina. It didn't matter how upset or hurt you were over a breakup, you did _not_ freeze out your children. Why would she lock Henry out, of all people? He was the only person in the entire place that truly loved her. As soon as that thought crossed her mind, Emma felt guilty. The only reason Regina was going through this was because of her screwing up the past, after all.

If Emma was completely honest with herself, she really did feel terrible about what she'd done. She had seen the way Regina's face fell as Robin Hood embraced his not-so-dead wife. The Queen was pissed, that was for sure, but she was also hurt. Emma just hoped she would find a better way of coping than going back to her old ways of mass murder and torture.

"Do you want me to go check on her?" Emma regretted the words as soon as they left her lips and she hadn't the slightest idea of why she'd even said them. She cursed herself for her big mouth and inability to think things through. If Regina wouldn't open the door for Henry, then how the hell was she supposed to get in? That was if Regina didn't strangle her, fry her, or beat the life out of her first.

Henry's grateful gaze made Emma realize that she had just backed herself into a corner with no way out.

"Thanks, mom." Henry wrapped his arms around her. "Tell her that I love her, okay? And I miss her. And that I want to spend the night over there whenever it's okay with her."

"Sure thing, kid." Emma ruffled his hair again, smiling slightly. "I know she'll be happy to hear that."

She watched as Henry hopped off the bar stool and headed towards his room. She sat down in the seat he'd just vacated and leaned heavily against the counter, letting her chin fall into her upturned palm. What had she just gotten herself into? And was there _any_ possibility that she could make it out alive?

Snow chose that moment to scurry downstairs, a diaper bag draped over her shoulder, stuffed animal in her hand, and her shirt on backwards. Emma sat up straighter as her mother hurried past her into the living room, then towards her bed, and then back again.

"Are you okay?"

Snow blinked at Emma, noticing her for the first time. "Oh," She breathed. "Yes, fine. I just don't know where I put that bag, it had all of the diapers in it and I can't find the baby powder and Charming is up there covered in—,"

"Woah!" Emma held up her hand. "Save the gory details, _please_."

"Can you help me find the bag?" Snow looked desperate. She took off into the living room once again, looking around and under anything she could get her hands on. When she started tossing pillows and cushions everywhere, Emma felt like she needed to intervene.

"It wouldn't happen to be the bag on your shoulder, would it?" Emma called from her seat. She simply quirked her eyebrow as Snow gasped in surprise.

"That wasn't—I mean, I didn't…," She trailed off, muttering to herself and clutching the bag. She was staring at it as if it appeared out of thin air. "But I swear I didn't—well, maybe…,"

"Hey," Emma slid easily off the barstool and took the bag from Snow's hands. "Are you okay? You seem a little…on edge."

"I'm just…," She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I may be your mother but this is all new to me. I don't want to mess up and I feel like I already have."

Emma smiled at her and gave her a quick hug. "You haven't, and you _won't_. Trust me."

"Why do you have so much faith in me?" Snow laughed lightly and swiped at a single tear that had escaped her eye. She looked absolutely exhausted, dark circles under her eyes and her hair much messier than Emma was accustomed too. The first week of motherhood was certainly taking its toll on her.

Emma crossed her arms and quirked her eyebrow again, glad to hear Snow laughing. "I thought that was just something that ran in the family. Believing in each other, always finding each other, _blah blah blah_, you know the drill."

Snow laughed again. It warmed her heart when Emma talked about them as a family. Ever since her return from the past, she'd been much more open than before. Her acceptance of her family made Snow feel like everything was finally ending up how it was supposed to. "Yes, I guess I do."

She moved to head back upstairs but Emma stopped her. "Hey, can I talk to you about something for a minute?"

Snow nodded. "Of course. I'm sure Charming can handle himself up there without me for a little while longer." A thump, followed by the crying of a baby and a loud laugh from Henry made Snow a little more apprehensive. "Maybe we should make it quick, just in case."

Emma nodded. "Then I'll cut to the chase. Henry's worried about Regina, and I kind of told him I'd go check on her."

Snow's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak but Emma cut her off.

"I know, I know, I know! It's my fault and I feel terrible but I can't go back on my word to Henry." She sighed moodily. "I have to go over there and hope she makes my death quick and painless."

"Emma!" Snow exclaimed. She paused for a moment, thinking, and then said something that surprised Emma. "If nothing else, I think you owe her an apology."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Snow leveled Emma with a very mother-like stare. "You brought back a woman who was supposed to be dead, who just so happened to be Regina's boyfriend's wife. I know it was an accident but Regina has had so many things taken from her because of…" She trailed off for a moment. "Well, because of me."

"But—,"

"We were finally starting to make amends." She reached out to put her hand on Emma's shoulder. "Regina will never completely forgive me for what I've done, but she was trying and she was succeeding. We all saw the good in her when she defeated Zelena with good magic and we don't want to risk her losing that. We owe it to her to help stop her from turning back into the Evil Queen."

"I'd say we owe it to ourselves, too." Emma grumbled.

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"You can't be bloody serious, Swan!"

Emma popped another French fry into her mouth as the man sitting across the table continued to stare at her as if she had three heads. Instead of replying, she shrugged her shoulders and devoured a few more fries.

"Do you have a death wish?" He raised an eyebrow. "Because I know a lot of things we could do that are a _lot_ more exhilarating and less dangerous than invading the Queen's personal space." He gave Emma his signature smirk and leaned towards her from his side of the table. "I have plenty of time to spare right now if you'd like me to give you an idea."

Emma simply rolled her eyes. "You just never stop, do you?"

"I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talking about, Swan."

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter what kind of exhilarating things you would like to do with me, because they're going to have to wait until later." Emma finished her fries and looked at him seriously. "I have to do this, for Henry. And for Regina. We're the reason her happiness got screwed up in the first place."

"Hold on now, I have no part in any of this mess. _I_ told you to leave that woman there. _I_ told you that you would change the future. But _no_, you just had to save her life." Hook's playful demeanor had faded slightly, due to the serious of their conversation topic. "You know that you are the last person Regina will want to see. I'd say you've earned yourself the number one spot on her list of enemies, right above your mother. Just leave her be and let everything blow over."

Emma stood up from the booth. She'd spent nearly the entire day avoiding going to the Mayor's house, but as the sun began sinking in the sky she knew she had to suck it up and get it over with. She was the savior, after all. She wasn't supposed to be a coward. She needed to do this for Henry and, if she was totally honest, she needed to do this for herself. The more she thought about what had happened, the more the guilt ate at her. Mayor Mills may not be her favorite person, but they'd developed a working friendship in the past few months. Emma didn't want all of that growth to be for nothing because she'd accidentally screwed it up.

"I have to do this." She said simply. She leaned down close to his ear, her voice quiet and her breath warm against his neck. "I'm going to have to pass on the _exhilarating_ activities you had planned for me, but I'd love a rain check."

And then she was gone, walking out the door with her blonde hair swinging behind her. Hook leaned back into the booth and shut his eyes, lips curling into a devilish grin. "Damn that woman."

A few booths over from where Hook now sat alone, Robin Hood clutched his coffee cup a little tighter in his hand. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on the Savior and her conversation with the pirate, but he couldn't help himself when he heard _her_ name. He knew that Marian would be wondering where he was, as he'd promised to be home an hour earlier, but he just needed some time alone. He needed to think about everything that had happened.

He'd decided a cup of coffee at Granny's would give him enough alone time to figure out his jumbled up feelings. He had just come to the conclusion that Marian was the love of his life and had been about to go home and embrace his family; then, Emma Swan had said _her_ name.

And now, Robin was left staring into the bottom of his empty coffee cup with more unanswered questions inside than he'd had to start with.

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**A/N: I apologize for the lack of Regina, but we'll get to see how she's holding up in the next chapter. I'd love to hear your thoughts so drop me a review! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed! Hearing your thoughts and opinions on what happens in the chapters is what keeps me writing. :)**

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As Emma stood facing the large white doors of the Mayor's mansion on 108 Mifflin Street, she felt something she hadn't felt towards Regina in a long time: fear. She was genuinely afraid of how the other woman was going to react. She was afraid of what kind of state she would find Regina in. Their last interaction hadn't exactly gone as planned, since Emma ended up ruining Regina's happiness and all.

Emma thought back to the last few things Regina had said to her, and sighed as she pictured the Mayor's devastated expression.

_ "You did this?"_

_ "I just wanted to save her life."_

_ "You're just like your mother, never thinking of consequences."_

_ "I didn't know…,"_

Snow was right. Emma owed it to Regina to fix what she had broken. She didn't know how to begin going about it, but she knew that speaking to the other woman would be the first step. So, with her shoulders pushed back and her head held high, Emma knocked.

After two minutes, she knocked again.

Five minutes later, she was getting impatient. She was stupid to think that Regina would just open the door and invite her inside. Just like Hook said, she was currently number one on Regina's enemy list. Plus, if the Mayor wouldn't open the door for Henry, why would she open it for Emma?

Too bad for Regina, Emma had plenty of practice getting into places she shouldn't.

She took a step back from the house and scanned it for any way inside. Noticing nothing, she took off around back to where the apple tree was located. She hadn't been back here since she'd taken a chainsaw to the same tree, and she couldn't help but smirk at the memory. Regina's expression when she saw the branch fall and Emma walk away triumphantly shouting "your move!" had been absolutely priceless.

The smirk faded as Emma realized how far they had come from that day. Regina had been teaching her magic, and the two of them had actually learned how to share Henry…well, sort of. Emma wouldn't consider Regina her _friend_, per se, but she thought they were on the path to getting there. Well, they had been. They had learned to get along and work together, to trust each other, but Emma had inadvertently ruined it all in the blink of an eye.

Catching site of a trellis that rested against the side of Mayor Mills' home, Emma knew it was her way in. She placed one foot on it tentatively, testing if it could take her weight, and then began to climb. After scaling that beanstalk, this was a piece of cake. She made it to the second floor window in no time and peered in. The last thing she wanted to do was break into Regina's house while Regina was in the same room she was breaking in to. She wanted to at least take a breath before all hell broke loose.

The room appeared to be a spare bedroom, and the door was shut. Emma reached out a hand to push the window up, but it was locked. _Of course it is_, she thought bitterly. Luckily for her, her life as a teenage con-woman taught her quite a bit about breaking into locked things. She reached into her pocked for a tiny lock pick tool she had the sense to grab before heading over here, assuming something like this would happen. She shoved the tool under the latch on the window and with a quiet _click_ it popped open.

Smiling slightly in victory, Emma stuck her tool back in her pocket and slid the window up quietly. When she was safely inside, she shut the window and took in her surroundings.

The room was very regal, much like every other room in the large mansion. Emma was hardly surprised. She made her way towards the door and turned the knob slowly, glancing into the hallway. She knew that sneaking up on Regina was a terrible idea, so she at least wanted to gain a sense of where the Queen was before she ventured out.

"The front door was unlocked, you know."

Emma nearly jumped out of her skin as she whirled around. Regina stood beside the window Emma had just climbed through, arms crossed, and a few wisps of purple smoke from her teleporting spell fading away.

"Regina, I—,"

"Please explain why you are breaking into my home, Ms. Swan."

The use of her last name made Emma cringe slightly. Recently, Regina had been referring to her as "Emma." It had been strange, at first, but Emma knew it was a sign of their growing acceptance of one another. Of course she would revert back to the classic "Ms. Swan" after what had happened.

"I wasn't breaking in, I knocked and—,"

"You climbed through the window. The _locked_ window." Regina snapped. "I believe that qualifies as breaking and entering, dear."

Emma flinched at the snarky tone, feeling like she was standing in front of the same Madam Mayor she had met three years ago.

"I just wanted to talk to you." Emma told her honestly.

That was when she noticed Regina's appearance. For a woman who had looked like her entire world was ending a week ago in Granny's diner, she certainly knew how to put herself back together. Regina was clad in her normal mayor attire – gray suit top, gray skirt, and black high heels. Her eyes were dark with eyeliner and her hair was flawless. Regina's expression was almost passive, but her eyes were hard. It was as if she had no emotion in her, which was the one thing that struck Emma as odd.

Regina snorted and placed her hands on her hips. "And why would the savior want to talk to the Evil Queen?"

Emma blinked. "What? Regina, you're not—,"

Regina held her hand up and Emma immediately stopped talking. That action was something that reminded her painfully of the Evil Queen Regina she had seen when she visited the past, and Emma hoped beyond belief that it was just a momentary gesture and not the first step of Regina reverting back to her old ways.

"You have two minutes, _Ms. Swan_. Tell me why you're here or get out of my house."

Her tone was cold, icy almost. But there was something missing. The normal angry passion that usually accompanied her demands was nowhere to be found. And that's how Emma knew that despite the act she was putting on, Regina was very far from being herself. She was pretending, and she was pretending very well, but it wasn't fooling Emma.

Deciding that honesty was the best policy, Emma met Regina's glare with soft eyes. "I'm here because of Henry. He's worried about you. Says you won't answer the door when he comes over."

Emma expected to see at least a flicker or remorse or regret flash across Regina's face. The only time she had truly seen the Queen emotional was when Henry was concerned. But now, there was no reaction. No change in her gaze or her features. Her eyes remained just as hard as before. _Dead_, Emma thought before she could stop herself. Regina's eyes were dead.

"Henry has my phone number." She spat. "If he wants to speak to me, he knows how."

"But he doesn't want to _speak_ to you." Emma shot back. "He wants to see you and be with you! He misses you, Regina. He knows what happened last week and he wants to be there for you."

"I don't need him to be there for me." She growled, but turned her head from Emma's probing stare. "I've taken care of myself for years and I will continue to do so. Now I do believe your two minutes are up."

Emma was not one to back down from a fight, so she marched right up to Regina and grabbed her arm in a rougher manner than she'd meant to. "I know what I did to you was awful, Regina, and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry! I didn't know and I promise that if I did I…," Her voice faltered.

"You would have what? Let her die?" Regina sneered and ripped her arm away. "We both know that's not true. You couldn't resist saving an innocent woman's life. You're the savior."

"I guess saving people is kind of in the job description." Emma muttered.

Regina moved to push passed her but Emma stepped in her way.

"Regina, come on." She tried. Judging by the way Regina's hands were clenching into fists Emma had about thirty seconds to make a valid point before being forcibly thrown from the house. "I know you're hurt right now but freezing Henry and everyone else out isn't the answer. If you want happiness, you have to let people in."

Emma expected her words to trigger some yelling or magic, but neither happened. Instead, Regina took a small step backwards and shook her head. A frown etched itself onto her face and she closed her eyes. It was as if with that one small movement Regina shrunk into herself, suddenly seeming a lot more like a fearful young woman than a fearless Evil Queen.

"Don't you understand?" She asked quietly. Her voice was empty, hollow. Emma opened her mouth to offer Regina some words of comfort but the other woman continued speaking. "I will never have true happiness. It's not meant for me. I'm the bad guy, Emma. That woman you brought back was just fate reminding me of that."

Emma shook her head, "You've changed, though. You saved us from—,"

"If that's all, Ms. Swan." The sudden change in her demeanor took Emma by surprise. The dead look was back in Regina's eyes, the regal posture returned, and her tone was forceful. "Please show yourself out."

"But Henry—,"

"Tell Henry I love him and I will see him soon." Was her response, but the words were flat.

When the second mention of her son still didn't spark any life back into Regina, Emma knew something was seriously wrong. Not in the mood to push her luck any further, she decided that she would listen to the Mayor and leave…for now. But if Regina thought that Emma was going to leave her in this strange, unemotional, uncaring state, she had another thought coming.

Emma had no idea what she needed to do, but she knew that she had the determination to figure it out. Something was seriously wrong with Regina and it was because of her mistake. She would fix this, for Henry. And for Regina.

"I'll be back." She said quietly as she reached the doorframe of the bedroom. She glanced back at Regina, but she did not meet Emma's gaze. "Henry will too. And I would bet my life that Mary Margaret and David will stop by to check on you. I don't know what spell you cast on yourself or how you're acting like you don't care about anything when I know you do, but I'm going to figure it out." She paused for a moment, and then quietly added on, "And I'm sorry, Regina. I really am."

The blonde stalked off down the hallway and Regina remained planted where she stood. She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the emotions that she knew should be filling her chest to make themselves known, but there was nothing. Nothing but emptiness and numbness.

Being unable to feel _anything_ was a much more painful punishment than any heartbreak she had ever suffered.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, guys! I love hearing what you think :)**

**I have a mild trigger warning for this chapter: some slight, unintentional, self-harm. It's nothing too descriptive or awful, but everyone reacts to things differently so I'm putting a warning here for that reason. P****lease use your own discretion on whether to read this chapter or not. I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable.**

* * *

"So…,"

This had been the third time Snow had tried to get Emma to sit down, and the third time that Emma had blatantly ignored her to continue pacing a hole into the floor of the tiny loft.

"Emma, you're worrying me." Snow continued.

"I'm just thinking." The blonde snapped.

She was going over her interaction with Regina in her mind, and she still couldn't figure out what was wrong with the other woman. She had seemed so emotionally distant. Even when Henry was the topic of conversation, Regina didn't react. Something was wrong and Emma knew it. She just didn't know the particulars.

"Maybe talking about it—,"

Snow was cut off as David and Henry came through the front door. They had gone to dinner, just the two of them, since David had been too busy with baby Neal to spend any quality grandpa time with Henry lately. The young boy took one look at Emma and immediately rushed over.

"Did you talk to her? What did she say? Is she okay? Can I go over there?"

Emma just blinked at him. "One question at a time, kid." She smiled, but it was more forced than she would have liked.

She'd been wrestling with what to tell Henry ever since she'd left Regina's house an hour earlier. When she got home to realize her son was off with his grandpa, she had never been so relieved. This was a touchy situation, because she didn't want to worry Henry but she also didn't want to lie to him. That certainly hadn't worked out in the past, so she wasn't planning on trying again. Having a little extra time to figure out what to say to him was a huge relief.

Henry settled for the most general of all his questions, "How's my mom?" He stared up at Emma with eager, hopeful eyes and she hated that she couldn't tell him everything was fine.

"She's," Emma hesitated. She glanced at Snow for help, but the other woman was just as eager as Henry for the answer. "She's had a rough few days. She's not one hundred percent yet, but she's getting there."

It wasn't the complete truth, but it would have to do. Regina looked like her normal, poised and put-together self. She even acted normally. Hopefully she would 'get there' sooner rather than later, because Emma could predict that the next question out of Henry's mouth would be:

"Did she say it's okay if I stay with her?"

At this, Emma pressed her lips together. The blatant disinterest in him from Regina was something she was very, very concerned about. She didn't want to hurt Henry and she most certainly did not want him to know what his mother had said. She was in a bind, once again.

"She, uh..." Emma trailed off. Henry's gaze was unwavering. "She thinks that it would be best if you just called, for now. But she said to tell you that she loves you and she'll see you as soon as she can."

Emma was expecting to see the disappointment in Henry's face, but the devastation that washed over his entire being nearly brought tears to her eyes. He dropped his gaze and muttered a sad, "Oh, okay."

"Hey," Emma reached out to him, but Henry stepped away.

"I should go do my homework." He said, and ran up the stairs.

Emma stared after him with her mouth open slightly, looking and feeling like she'd just crushed his hopes.

"Did Regina really refuse to see him?"

It was David that spoke. He had moved to stand next to Snow while Emma and Henry were talking, and he looked thoroughly confused.

"That doesn't seem like her at all." Snow added. "She would do anything to have Henry live with her again, she would never refuse him."

"That's the problem." Emma walked over to her parents and lowered her voice on the off chance that Henry was lingering in the hallway to listen. "Something is up with her. She was so unemotional, it was weird even for Regina. I was expecting her to be angry but there was no forcefulness behind her threats. Even when I told her how much Henry missed her, she barely reacted."

"Something is wrong, then." Snow said, wide-eyed. "Even in the Enchanted Forest when she was evil, Regina always had some type of emotion fueling her wrath. Normally it was anger and vengeance towards me."

"There's nothing there." Emma looked between her parents, trying to convey how serious she was. "Her eyes looked so lifeless it was…it was scary."

"Do you think she cursed herself?" David asked.

Emma shrugged. "Maybe? She didn't admit to it if she did."

"Do you really think she would admit to doing something like that to herself?" Snow asked, although it was more of a rhetorical question.

"There's only one way to find out." Emma sighed. This whole ordeal was turning into a much bigger adventure than she would have liked. "I'm going to see Gold."

* * *

The wind was howling and the rain was slamming against the windows when she decided that she couldn't take it anymore. She had been lying in bed, reflecting on her life, and her eyes were still dry. Thinking about her past was the one thing that always, always, made Regina cry. It didn't matter if she was reflecting on how Cora had treated her, Daniel's death, or her own feelings of regret over trying to destroy Snow White – and, in the process of that, destroying every chance she'd had to be a good person. When she thought in depth about what had happened she would always end up with at least a few tears running from her eyes, and a suffocating ache in her chest.

She had tried thinking back to when she'd had to stop Peter Pan's curse, believing that she would never see Henry again. She squeezed her eyes shut and imagined the whole scene playing out again, hugging Henry goodbye, but she felt nothing. She thought about how Cora had treated her when she was young, how she had loved her mother but was always such a failure in her eyes; but none of the usual heartache accompanied the thoughts. Her last attempt was to think about the most recent event to break her heart; Marian's return, and Robin believing that Regina truly was evil.

These thoughts had her doubled-over in grief last week, fighting so hard to breathe through the crying that she feared she would actually die from lack of air. But now…now, there was nothing. That infuriating emptiness that had taken root inside her chest would not go away.

So, she decided to try the one thing she hadn't yet. Magic.

It was a downpour when she left her house to head to her vault, but she couldn't care less. She hadn't even bothered to change out of her silky pajamas, just pulling a robe and a jacket over top of it and slipping on some shoes. She thought about using magic to teleport there, but decided against it. Maybe feeling the rain pound against her skin would make her feel _something_ inside.

But it didn't.

When Regina arrived at her vault, she was wet and cold, but felt just as numb as before. She ruffled through various potion ingredients and spell books, but couldn't find anything that mentioned the symptoms she was feeling. What was going on with her? When she had lost Daniel, if someone had offered to take her heartbreak away in place of a gentle numbness she would have begged them to do it. But now…now, she needed her heartbreak. She needed her emotions.

It was what made her the person she was. She'd tried to bury and suppress everything in the past, and the Evil Queen had been the result of that. The last thing she wanted to do was go backwards and become her again. She had to fix this. Fix herself. Even if fixing herself meant feeling the pain of a shattered heart.

Regina gathered a few glass potion bottles into her arms and decided to set to work figuring out what was wrong with her. She hurried over to the open spell book, but the robe she was wearing under her jacket tangled in her feet causing her to trip and fall. The potions slipped from her grasp and shattered around her, her open palms landing flat on the broken shards of glass.

"Damn it," She hissed. Her palms began to bleed as pain from the cuts seared through her.

She was about to shake the glass off of her hands when a sudden realization made her freeze. The cuts hurt. Her hand ached.

Inside, she felt a familiar spark of anger at herself for her own clumsiness.

She was feeling something again.

* * *

"It's really coming down out there."

Robin Hood looked up from his place half-sitting and half-lying on the bed in the room he'd rented from Granny. He smiled gently at the woman standing by the window watching the rain, and motioned for her to sit next to him. "Indeed it is."

Marian sat down on the edge of the bed next to her husband and smiled softly at the scene before her. Roland was on Robin's other side, his head snuggled into Robin's lap. He was fast asleep, the only noise coming from him was a light snore every once in a while. Robin's hand was resting gently on Roland's curly brown hair, occasionally stroking it softly.

"I'm so happy, Robin." Marian said softly, looking at him with a smile on her lips. "When I was imprisoned, I never thought I would see you or Roland again. I had come to terms with my death. And then, I was brought here and reunited with the both of you. It must have been fate."

Robin smiled, her words warming his heart. God, he loved her. She was alive and well again, and his wish was finally coming true. The only problem was the noisy voice in the back of his head continuously reminding him of the only other woman he'd ever come to love. The woman he had threatened to keep away from his family and had basically tossed aside as if she was nothing. The woman he hadn't seen for a week, but had thought about every single day.

The memories made his heart clench painfully.

"I love you." Marian smiled, bringing him from his thoughts. She leaned in to plant a soft kiss on his lips.

Robin smiled into the kiss, although it didn't quite reach his eyes. When Marian pulled away he murmured, "And I love you."

"There is something that has been bothering me." Marian sighed, leaning back on the bed and pulling the blanket over herself. "The Evil Queen. She lives here, does she not? I was to meet her during that celebration when I saw you and Roland, but I haven't seen her around since that night."

Robin felt a pang of sorrow in his chest. The one person he did not want to talk about, and Marian was bringing her up. It hurt enough to think about Regina Mills. Talking about her was too much.

"She lives here, yes." He answered simply.

Marian's expression darkened. "I don't want to be near her. It doesn't matter if everyone believes she is a different person now. She took me away from you, and almost caused Roland to lose his mother. She cannot be forgiven for that."

"She isn't evil." Robin didn't want to talk about this anymore. He had been thinking about his last conversation with Regina lately, and he knew he had made a huge mistake. He was upset and in the moment his emotions were running wild. His dead wife had just shown up in a diner, he didn't know what to think. So, he had let the easiest emotion take over. Anger. He had decided to be angry at Regina instead of believing in her.

How he could even say such terrible things to her, he didn't know. He had _threatened_ her. She would never forgive him for that, and he didn't expect her too. He didn't deserve her forgiveness. His anger caused him to accuse her of still being the evil woman she was in the past, even though he knew for a fact that she was anything but evil. It had just been hearing how Marian was trapped in the dungeon, to be executed…it had pushed him over the line and he'd said so many regrettable things out of his anger. He'd been so blind and stupid.

He had messed up.

Marian gave him a strange look. "How could you claim she isn't evil after all she's done?"

"She saved us all from the Wicked Witch." He said, voice growing defensive. "She has proven herself again and again, and she truly has changed her ways. The woman you were supposed to meet in the diner was not The Evil Queen, she was Regina."

"I still don't trust her. That despicable woman will always be evil in my eyes." Marian leaned against Robin and let her eyes fall shut, bringing the conversation to an end. "I just want to be here with you and Roland and I want the Evil Queen as far away from me as possible."

Robin let his arm fall around his wife and she rested easily into his embrace. The feeling was so familiar that it nearly brought tears to his eyes. He had missed this so, so much in the time he'd spent believing Marian to be dead. The entire past week together had been something he'd wished for again and again after he lost Marian. His family was back together, but his heart was not completely happy.

He loved Marian. He truly did. She was his wife, the mother of his child, and the first woman he had ever fallen for. But he would be lying to himself if he denied loving Regina as well. The more time he spent away from her, the more he wanted to go to her. To apologize.

He didn't know what to do. He wanted to live a happy life with Marian and Roland, but the thought of never seeing Regina again hurt.

Robin Hood shut his eyes and wondered when everything had gotten so complicated.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Any thoughts on Robin's point of view of the whole situation? Are you liking Emma's concern for our favorite Queen? And what on earth is going on with Regina? I'd love to hear your comments! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry for taking so long to update, guys! Life, ya know? It gets in the way of all my fanfiction fun ;) Anyway, I just want to thank everyone for all of the reviews! I'm still kind of shocked by the response to this story as well as my own love for it. Normally I try to avoid writing chapter stories because I seem to lose my inspiration, but this one has me going strong! This chapter is a little longer than most because I didn't want to break it up. I hope you guys enjoy. :)**

* * *

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Gold's voice was harsh as he pulled open the door Emma had been pounding on for what seemed like an endlessly long amount of time. She barely even acknowledged him, pushing straight past into the dry warmth of his shop.

Gold turned to face the savior as she quickly tugged her dripping hair into a ponytail. The rain was really coming down outside, and in her rush to talk to the only man who might have an idea of what Regina had done to herself, she'd forgotten to grab an umbrella. Her clothing was soaked through and she couldn't help but fail to suppress a shiver.

"What do you want?" Gold glared at her. "And don't you know what a _closed_ sign means?"

"Cut the crap." Emma was in no mood to deal with a lecture right now. "I need you to tell me what is going on with Regina. She's cursed or something, I don't know, but _you_ do. The sooner you tell me the sooner I'll leave you alone."

Gold just stared at her. "I have no idea what you're talking about, dearie."

"Don't play stupid with me." Emma stomped towards him. "Tell me. Now."

Gold merely narrowed his eyes. "I'm telling you. Whatever the Queen has gotten herself into is none of my concern."

"Everything everyone does in this town is of your concern." Emma replied. No matter what was going on, Gold usually had his fingerprints all over it. "I know you know something. You always do."

"Not this time." Gold shook his head. "I was too busy getting married to pay attention to anyone besides my bride."

"You're…married?" Emma choked out, surprise coloring her features. "What?"

"You could have just said congratulations." A voice said from behind Emma.

She turned around to see Belle standing there, a large smile on her face. Emma's expression instantly softened upon seeing the sweet woman who had done so much to help everyone.

"Oh, Belle, I…congrats." Emma smiled at the other woman, knowing that this was what Belle truly wanted. Emma was skeptical about the good that lay within Rumplestiltskin, but Belle had the ability to see past all of his wrongdoings. She loved a man that very few trusted, and she was honestly happy. Emma couldn't help but be happy for her.

"Thank you." Belle smiled brightly and made her way to Gold's side, placing her hand on his arm. "Now what are you two yelling about?"

"The Sheriff seems to think that I have something to do with the Queen acting strange." Gold explained. "I was just informing her that I was a bit too preoccupied to be at fault."

"This time." Emma muttered, but the other two ignored her.

"What's wrong with her?" Belle asked, directing her gaze towards Emma.

Regina was not Belle's favorite person. Regina was one of the people Belle cared least for. After all, the Queen had locked her up for _years_, making all those who loved her believe she was dead. Even with Regina redeeming herself again and again, Belle wasn't ever planning to become best friends with her. Merely civil acquaintances. She couldn't help her curiosity, however.

"_I don't know_," Emma drawled, placing her hands on her hips. "That's the problem! I talked to her today but it was like she wasn't really there. Even when I mentioned Henry, she didn't care. It was like she was dead inside."

Belle's eyes widened. "Her heart. I know she just got it back from the Wicked Witch, but did she ever, well, put it back in?"

Gold shook his head before Emma could answer. "Removing her heart wouldn't cause that. It would numb the pain, yes, but she would still be able to feel. Just not as intensely. It wouldn't change her feelings towards the boy, either."

"Then what is going on?" Emma asked. "Could she have cursed herself?"

"It's a possibility." Gold replied, thinking. "But I don't think she did."

"Then what, Rumple?" Belle's brow furrowed. "What causes you to behave like you're dead?"

"Honestly, I haven't a clue." He said, looking at his beautiful Belle. Then, seemingly realizing something, his eyes widened and he turned to the savior. "There's an old folklore, from our land. I can't say how true it is or isn't, but it was a story I came across once long ago."

Gold began pacing slowly, his eyes narrowed as he tried to pull the details from his memory. "You know the power of true love's kiss, clearly. This story had to do with the magic that was released when a special kind of love was ripped away from you."

Emma's mouth nearly dropped open. "That's awful. So much for fairytales being about good triumphing evil and everyone being happy." She looked almost disgusted as her face contorted.

Gold glanced at her. "Yes, dearie, not everything is always as black and white as it seems. You really have no idea." He chuckled humorlessly. "As I was saying, having true loved ripped from you is painful, but not life altering. At least not when it comes to magic. But there are such things as soul mates in our land. They're people destined to be together by fate. When they find each other, if they become separated or lose one another, there is the possibility of losing a part of themselves, as well."

Emma just blinked. "What?"

"It's like…losing a part of your soul, right?" Belle chimed in. She was looking at Rumple with the strangest expression, something akin to understanding mixed with past sadness. "It's when you lose someone and you feel like they've taken a part of you with them. You're not quite whole anymore, and everything bad that happens hurts just a little more."

"Yes, from what I've read." Gold limped over to her and took her smaller hand, pulling it up to place a gentle kiss on her knuckles. She smiled, her gaze never once leaving his.

Emma suddenly felt like she was interrupting something very intimate.

But, being Emma Swan, she was nothing if not determined in her quests. So, she cleared her throat extra loudly to get the attention of the couple. "So what you're saying here is that Robin Hood was Regina's soul mate and now she's literally _soulless_? But not soulless in the evil sense, just in the...broken sense?" Her expression twisted up and her eyes scrunched together as she tried to make sense of everything.

"I'm not saying anything like that is actually what is happening." Gold replied. His hand was still interlocked with Belle's, but his focus was now on Emma. "You came here asking for advice and that's all I have to tell you."

Emma sighed moodily and scrubbed a hand over her face. "This is going from bad to worse." She muttered, and then turned her attention to Gold again. "So if this whole losing-your-soul thing is what's going on with her, how do we fix it?"

"I have no idea."

Emma just gaped at the former imp. "You _always_ have an idea!"

"Not this time, dearie. Like I told you, all I know of this is from some old folklore. I'm not saying it's true."

"Then what can we do?" Emma leaned heavily against a counter top. "Regina's weird emotionless state can't be safe for anyone, especially not her. How do we help her _feel_ again?"

Gold merely raised an eyebrow at Emma. "I'd say that's a question for the cricket to answer, not me."

The front door, that had been held slightly ajar, shut quietly enough as to not alert the three standing inside Gold's pawnshop that someone uninvited had been listening. The person had apparently heard enough. Hiding in the shadows to make sure there wasn't a chance of being caught, the eavesdropper took off running, splashing through puddle after puddle as the rain continued to pour down.

* * *

Regina sat on her living room couch, the same one she'd sat in front of when she told Robin Hood he was her soul mate. She had opened herself up to him, tears swimming in her eyes, and he had calmed her with a warm kiss. She had been so blissfully happy, sitting there with him sharing her hopes and fears. She had truly believed in happy endings, for the first time in her life.

It was certainly funny how much things had changed in one week.

After tripping and shattering the numerous potion bottles in her vault, Regina had used her magic to teleport herself back home instead of walking through the thunderstorm outside again. She'd planned on going up to her room, but only made it as far as the couch before her knees gave out. It'd been an hour, and she hadn't moved. Her wet clothes had dried and were clinging to her skin in an uncomfortable manner, but she didn't care.

Her eyes were on her palms.

The blood from the glass shards had started drying, crusting over top of the wounds. She thought about cleaning them, but decided she didn't have the energy to bother. What did it matter how she looked? It wasn't as if anyone was going to come see her, especially at midnight during a raging thunderstorm. As far as being concerned about infection, she couldn't care less.

And, deep down, she knew that she didn't want the cuts to stop hurting.

Regina closed her eyes at the realization. What on earth was wrong with her? Why was she thinking this way, feeling this way? But at least, for the first time in a week, she was feeling something.

It was as if the pain of the glass slicing through her skin had woken her up from some strange reverie. She could feel the heartache of losing Robin again, and when she thought over how she'd spoken to Emma about Henry earlier, her stomach dropped in shame. But she was relieved to have these feelings back. It was easier to hate herself than it was to feel completely empty.

She was used to hating herself. The feelings of worthlessness were familiar, and she knew how to manage them. The loneliness, the insecurity, the lack of love…all things she'd dealt with before.

A sudden pounding on her front door pulled Regina from her thoughts. She made no move to get up and answer it. Why should she? If it was Emma Swan, that awful woman had already proven that she'd just break in anyway. If it was either of the Charming's, she would rather they turn around and go back home. She didn't want their pity.

If it was Robin Hood, she didn't how she would react. She wanted to yell and scream, cry, banish him from her home, yet fall into his arms. Thinking about him was too hard. When he'd rejected her, something inside had simply snapped and left her feeling like damaged goods.

She balled her hand into a fist as she felt the heartbreak disappearing once again into a numb void. The pain from the glass shards still trapped in her skin shot through her, which made her inner turmoil return with a vengeance. It was such a forceful wave of pain that she nearly cried out in anguish.

"Mom?"

Regina had been too busy focusing on all the people that she didn't want to see to hear the door opening. Of course she wouldn't have to answer it when the person on the other side had a key.

She turned her head slowly and saw him, soaking wet, standing in the entranceway to the living room.

"Henry," Immediately, tears filled her eyes.

Her little boy. Her little prince. She hadn't realized how badly she'd missed him until this moment. She'd been so focused on worrying about why _she_ couldn't feel any emotions that she hadn't thought about him, and what he was going through. Just because she was numb, that didn't mean he was.

She'd completely abandoned him due to her selfishness. She really was a terrible, awful person.

"Mom!"

Henry rushed towards her, throwing his arms around her before she could react. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him as close as she possibly could. All of her emotions seemed to come back with full force, and the abruptness of it nearly knocked the wind out of her.

"I know you didn't want to see me but I was worried and I knew you were all alone and I'm sorry. I love you." Henry's words ran together in such a jumble that it took Regina a moment to distinguish what he said.

"It's okay, baby." She hugged him tighter as the tears began leaking from her eyes. "It's my fault. I love you so much."

They stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a good while. Regina tried her hardest to suppress the tears, but she didn't succeed. Henry's hug only tightened when he felt his mom cry and for that, Regina was grateful. Feeling the touch of another person, the comfort from a warm body pressed against hers, was almost overwhelming.

When her crying had quieted, Henry was the one to pull away from her. She immediately released him as if she was burned. It was true that Henry had come to her, but she didn't want to do anything that would send him running away again. She didn't want to continue holding onto him unless it was what he wanted.

"Are you okay?" His looked at her with worry written all over his face.

Regina honestly didn't know how to respond to his question. "I'm…," She cleared her throat, buying herself a few moments to think. "I'm getting there."

It was then that Henry noticed her hand. She'd forgotten about it, too busy focusing on holding her son tightly against her. He reached out wordlessly and took her larger hand in his, flipping it over so that he could see her bloody palm. His gasp was loud enough that Regina flinched.

He looked up at her, eyes wide with concern. He opened his mouth to question her but Regina beat him to it.

"I just fell on a few broken bottles." She said quickly, and pulled her hand away. "It's nothing."

She felt guilty, like she was telling him a huge lie. She wasn't, though. She really had tripped and fallen onto some glass shards. It wasn't as if she would ever do something like this to herself on purpose. Henry's gaze was unrelenting, though.

"This is about more than what happened at Granny's last week, isn't it?" His voice was so quiet that she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly. But, his eyes were trained on her with a focus that was eerily grown up.

He was just a child. He shouldn't be dealing with her issues, her problems. They were hers and hers alone. She wouldn't force Henry to suffer and she wouldn't be the cause of more worrying.

"No, I'm fine." She said evenly. She wanted to reach out to him, but the glass in her hand reminded her not too. "I'll be better soon. You don't need to be concerned about me."

Henry opened his mouth to argue, but she cut him off again.

"Emma's going to be worried." She stood up quickly. "Come on, I'll walk you over there."

"Can't I stay here?"

Those words made her heart clench so painfully that she almost burst into tears. Regina wanted Henry with her, more than anything. But she didn't want him to see her like this. What she was really afraid of was slipping back into that unemotional state. She could already feel the tinge of numbness dulling every emotion she'd felt almost moments before. The last thing she needed was Henry to believe she didn't love him, again, because she wasn't showing enough emotion. She didn't want to relive the torture of having her son despise her, she didn't think she could take it. So she needed him to leave, for his own good and for hers.

Just for now.

"Not tonight." She said quietly, but she didn't look at him. She couldn't handle seeing the hurt in his eyes. If she did, she would fall apart. She couldn't do that again, not tonight, and not in front of Henry. Once was more than enough. Despite her numbness and her fear of Henry sensing that, looking at him seemed to trigger the opposite reaction. When she met his eyes, the emotions flowed through her and bubbled to the surface with such force that she couldn't stop it.

She felt like she didn't have control over herself and if there was one thing Regina Mills despised, it was not being in control.

"Why?"

Regina turned farther away from her son and squeezed her eyes shut. "Henry, I want you to know that I love you very much. I just need a little time to sort things out." She could almost feel him deflating, so she hazarded a glance in his direction. He looked heartbroken, and Regina hated herself for it.

"Henry," She returned to her previous seat on the couch next to him, and tilted his chin up with her hand, glass shards and blood be damned. "Thank you for coming over tonight. It means more to me than you could ever know."

"Then why can't I stay with you?" He asked.

_Because you're better off without me._

"Because it's better this way." She answered. "Now come on, let's go before it gets even later."

Looking very much like a kicked puppy, Henry obediently followed her. He watched as his mom opened the door and ushered him through it, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was seriously wrong with her. He knew her too well, and he knew that something more than her break up was going on.

What he had overheard when he followed Emma to Mr. Gold's pawnshop had terrified him. He had been trying to keep his distance from Regina but he knew Emma had been hiding something. Overhearing them talk about how she had 'dead' and 'lifeless' eyes had made his mind jump to the worst conclusion, so he'd ended up here to see Regina for himself.

She didn't seem lifeless, but she was nowhere near being herself. She wasn't okay.

Henry wanted to help her, but he didn't know how.

* * *

**A/N: Ahh, the Regina and Henry feels. What did you guys think? Any guesses as to where we're going from here? Thank you all for reading. :)**

**Also, I just wanna give a quick shout-out to **mylla88** and** Guest **for getting inside my brain and completely calling the soul mate thing in their reviews of last chapter...assuming that Gold's idea was correct, that is. AND assuming that that would be Regina's only problem...hmmmm... ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry for taking a little while to get this posted! My boss decided it would be cool to schedule me to work seven days in a row so that's been my life recently...sigh. Haha. Thanks for the reviews on last chapter, guys! :)**

* * *

"HENRY!"

The relief that flooded Snow's face when she opened the front door to reveal Henry standing there was indescribable. She pulled the young boy into her arms, then held him back to look him over. He was soaked through from the rain, but looked unscathed.

"I'm fine," He mumbled, trying to escape her grasp.

"Please don't run off like that again!" Snow clutched him to her chest, but he didn't return the hug. "David is out there looking everywhere for you. You scared us to death."

"I'm fine." He repeated. He wriggled out of Snow's arms and turned to face the woman standing a few feet down the hall, whom Snow hadn't first noticed. "I'll see you soon, mom?"

It hurt Regina that his words were a question and not a statement, but she knew that she had been the cause of it. Just like how she was the cause of all of her own suffering. "Of course." She gave him what she hoped was a smile, but judging by the sadness in his eyes it hadn't quite come out that way.

Henry turned back towards Snow, who grasped his shoulder gently. "Go get into some dry clothes, okay?" Henry nodded and disappeared into the apartment.

Regina turned to go, wanting to get back to the safety of her mansion. This was the first time she'd ventured outside where others could actually see her. The trip to her vault had been quick and away from all of the Storybrooke residents and their prying eyes. Right now, she was trapped smack dab in the middle of everything, and it made her uneasy. However, the idea of letting Henry walk over here all alone in the middle of the night was something she was extremely uncomfortable with.

"Regina?"

She _almost_ kept walking and ignored Snow's call. She _almost_ disappeared in a puff of magic to avoid this encounter. But for some reason, she didn't.

She didn't turn around to face her sworn enemy, but she didn't keep walking either.

"Why don't you come in for a little while and dry off?" Snow asked gently. Regina could tell that the other woman had taken a step towards her. "I could make some hot chocolate."

Regina opened her mouth to deny the offer, but Snow's hand on her shoulder made her words disappear.

"Come on. I think we may even have some apple pie."

* * *

"Emma?"

Archie blinked groggily at the blonde woman standing in his doorway. He'd been forcefully woken up by pounding on his door and Pongo's booming barking. He'd managed to flip on a few lights as he stumbled towards the entranceway to his home, but he was still having some trouble processing what was happening.

"Hey, Archie." Emma smiled slightly, almost sheepishly. "Sorry for waking you."

"Uh, yeah." Archie blinked again and physically shook his head, trying to wake himself up. "Is everything okay?"

"Well," Emma sighed. "Could I come in for a minute?"

"Sure, sure." He stepped back and allowed the savior into his home.

Pongo greeted Emma with a lick to her hand and a small bark of welcome while she took a seat on Archie's couch. The therapist followed her over, sitting in a nearby armchair.

"So…," He began, quite unsure of what was happening. "Are you okay? What brings you here?" He wanted to add _in the middle of the night _and _couldn't this have waited until the morning?_ but he bit his tongue.

Emma leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she looked at the sleepy therapist. "Regina."

"Regina?" He questioned. His mind immediately jumped to the worst conclusion, but before he could ask Emma cut him off.

"She didn't do anything." She told him. "But something is wrong with her. I thought it was because of magic, so I went to Gold, but he didn't know anything for sure. He sent me here."

"What seems to be the problem with her?" Archie asked, leaning forward to mirror Emma's pose.

Emma took a deep breath, feeling suddenly exhausted from the events of the day. It was hard to believe that she was at Granny's with Hook just a few hours earlier.

"Henry was worried about Regina because of me accidentally bringing back her boyfriend's supposed-to-be-dead wife." She cringed slightly as she said it, hating the way she sounded like a character off of a soap opera. "I told him I'd go over and check on her to make sure she was okay and wasn't reverting back to the Evil Queen ways or anything. When I talked to her, she seemed totally normal except…," She trailed off, not knowing exactly how to explain it.

"Except for what?" Archie prodded.

"It was like she wasn't really there." Emma explained. "Her eyes were so…empty. And lifeless. Even when I told her that Henry missed her, she barely reacted. At first I thought she had cursed herself or something but Gold claimed magic couldn't do that."

"So you came to me to evaluate her mental state?" Archie had finally caught up with what was going on, and had stood up to ruffle through a nearby bookcase.

"Er, well, yeah. I guess." Emma said sheepishly, once again. "Gold did say something about soul mates, though. Apparently if your soul mate is taken from you for whatever reason, a piece of your soul is ripped out too. I don't know how believable that is, but after living here for three years I've learned to be a little more open-minded."

"I've never heard of that, but I wouldn't discount anything Rumplestiltskin says." Archie replied. After a few moments, he sat back down with a large book in his lap. "I might not be able to help with the soul mate side of things, but I can give you an idea about the psychological one. I suppose that figuring out how both of our theories fit together is up to you." He gave Emma a small smile when the blonde let out a fairly loud groan. "You do need to understand that my diagnosis won't be completely accurate, especially because I haven't spoken to Regina. I'm just going by the symptoms that you're telling me."

Emma nodded in understanding.

Archie flipped open the book and searched through it until he found the page he was looking for. He scanned it for a moment and then looked up at Emma.

"Did she seem detached at all?"

"Yeah. It was like she didn't have any emotions or, I don't know, was disconnected from them."

"Dissociative disorder." Archie said, shutting his book. He looked at Emma, who was waiting for more details. "It's when a person involuntarily tries to escape reality. Often after a traumatic event. They experience a disconnect from their usual selves, something like a sense of numbness or emptiness."

"That sounds exactly like her." Emma exclaimed. "So, how do we fix it?"

Archie leaned back in his chair and sighed. "This isn't the kind of thing that can just be _fixed_."

"But—," Emma started, but Archie cut her off.

"Regina is, basically, emotionally numb. That means that things that should make her happy will barely cause her to smile, while the things that would upset her will just elicit an apathetic response. This was probably brought on by the emotional trauma of Robin Hood's wife coming back, but it's only this bad because of Regina's past." He explained. "She's talked through a few things with me, but I know there's a lot more where they come from. She's very guarded so breaking into her defenses is not easy."

"Not as easy a breaking into her house?" Emma muttered rhetorically. Archie shot her a strange look, but chose to ignore the comment.

"Dissociating from everything is a defense mechanism. She's been hurt so much that this is her body's way of guarding herself. It makes her numb from the pain. If there's something else involving soul mates going on as well, and she really has lost a part of herself, she will be struggling more than she ever has before."

"Well what can we do?" Emma was beginning to get impatient. "How can we help her? She won't even see Henry and that's going to crush him."

"First, I think she should start coming to sessions with me." Archie replied. Emma snorted but refrained from uttering the sarcastic _good luck with that _on the tip of her tongue. "She needs to talk about what she's suppressing if she ever wants to move past it. If she doesn't…," He trailed off.

"If she doesn't, what? She stays numb?"

"Yes." He said, then took a breath. "She may. Or her symptoms may accelerate and cause her to fall into a downward spiral. Depression is not something to take lightly, and Regina is already exhibiting symptoms of a mild form. The worst case scenario is that she would attempt to take her own life."

"Suicide?!" Emma's eyes widened. This just got way more serious than she wanted it too. "Regina? Really?" She shook her head and stood up. "There's no way. The woman bosses everyone around and has a snarky comment for everything. She would never even consider that. Especially because of a _break up_."

Archie stood up as well, and followed Emma to the door. "If she truly has lost some of her soul, she may have lost the ability to see the good in the world or in herself. She was already struggling with this, so it's a definite cause for concern. Just watch her closely. Talk to her. Having a support system is the most helpful in situations like this."

Emma let out a long breath. She was in way over her head here. "Thanks, Archie."

She left the cricket's apartment with her head whirling.

* * *

Regina stared down into the dark brown steaming liquid in front of her, and wondered how she let herself be talked into this.

_You weren't._ Her own voice snaps. And it's true. Snow White hadn't extended any great effort in inviting the former Queen into her home, and Regina had barely even attempted to refuse the younger woman.

So, this is where she found herself. Looking completely out of her element, formerly wet hair drying at odd angles, silky pajamas on her body, and a cup hot chocolate with cinnamon placed in front of her as she sat at Snow White's counter.

Oh, the irony.

If only her mother could see her now.

Regina scrunched up her face at the thought. She hated thinking about her mother, she hated opening up that can of worms. Unluckily, or maybe luckily, Snow had noticed her change in expression.

"Is the hot chocolate okay?" She questioned, offering up a warm smile to Regina all the while.

Snow had managed to make Regina a cup before baby Neal started crying from upstairs. After excusing herself, Snow had disappeared to soothe her son for about ten minutes. She'd just reappeared and began making her own hot chocolate when she noticed Regina's strange expression.

"It's fine." Regina replied quietly.

The longer she sat at the counter, the more uncomfortable she felt about the whole situation. What was she doing here? Why had she accepted Snow's offer? Well, she _hadn't_ really, she reminded herself. Snow had simply led her inside and Regina had followed without a fight.

Is that who she was now? Someone who didn't even put up a fight?

She hadn't even attempted to fight for Robin Hood. The moment he laid eyes on Marian, she had simply accepted that her one chance at happiness was over. Whoever she was now, she was weak.

_But he didn't fight for you, either_. A voice in her head reminded her. _Yeah, well, there's not much here to fight for, is there?_

"Regina?"

Regina blinked, pulled from her thoughts by the short-haired woman in front of her. Snow tilted her head to the side, considering her.

"Are you okay?"

"Why are you doing this?" Regina ignored Snow's question and fired back one of her own. "Why did you ask me to come inside? Why are you being kind and...," She hesitated, losing steam. "Why do you care whether I'm okay or not?"

Snow sat her cup down and faced Regina, locking eyes with the Queen. "I care because despite what you think, I don't hate you. I've forgiven you time and time again, Regina, and I thought we were finally starting to find our way back to at least being civil towards one another."

Regina stayed quiet, only because she didn't quite know what to say. Snow filled the silence, however.

"I asked you to come in because it's clear to me that you aren't okay. It was clear to me all those years ago when you married my father and I didn't do anything." She hesitated, trying to gauge Regina's reaction before she continued. "I know that all I did was make it worse for you back then. I don't want to let you down like that again."

Regina just blinked at her, then she shook her head with a rueful smile. She was silent for a moment before speaking in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "You're feeding me hot chocolate while I've spent my entire life trying to kill you." The smile slipped off of her face to be replaced with a frown, a dark expression settling itself across her features as she got lost in her own mind.

"I'm still alive, aren't I?" Snow offered her a smile; a warm, compassionate, and understanding one. "And while I am, I will continue to offer you hot chocolate." She hesitated for a moment before she spoke again, this time her voice more passionate. "We've all changed so much, Regina. Everything is so different from what it was before. I want to move past all of the terrible things that happened, to both of us, and start again. I think we deserve that."

"Snow—," She started, but stopped when she realized she didn't know what to say.

Regina lifted her hand to brush her hair from her face to buy herself a moment to think. She flinched when the sudden movement aggravated the still un-cleaned cuts covering her palm. She hoped that Snow wouldn't notice, but of course she couldn't be that lucky.

"What happened to your hand?"

The princess was reaching out, then, before Regina could stop her. Her slim fingers wrapped around Regina's hand and flipped it over so that she could see the extent of the damage. Snow's mouth opened and then she looked at Regina, who was actively avoiding any eye contact.

And then, Snow released her hand without a word. Instead, she simply turned and walked away.

Regina lifted her gaze to watch as the other woman left the room, confusion flooding through her. When did Snow White ever back down from a challenge? Or, in this case, refuse to demand answers?

Regina's thoughts couldn't get too carried away, though, because almost as soon as Snow had disappeared she reappeared. This time, she was holding a small first aid kit in her hands. She went back to her previous spot, standing across the counter from where Regina sat, and wordlessly held out her hand for Regina's.

For her part, the mayor considered Snow's actions for a long moment before she did anything. She looked from Snow's expectant hand to her knowing gaze, and Regina took a breath.

Then she held out her hand and allowed Snow to set to work cleaning the wounds.

Neither of them spoke, but they didn't need too. Snow didn't press for the details of what happened, and Regina didn't offer them. But, Regina had trusted Snow to help her even though she would never blatantly ask for it.

This was a step forward. It had to be.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts! Dissociative disorder is actually a real thing, and I encourage anyone suffering from that or depression to seek help. While I think I understand the basic idea of dissociative disorder, I am by no means claiming to be an expert. If the facts in this story are incorrect, please don't hesitate to point them out. Obviously everything won't be one hundred percent correct because I am including some magical ideas and influences.**

**And another note...I just want to let you guys know that I'm going on vacation for a the next week and a half-ish, so the next update may not be for a little while. I'll try to get another chapter up before I leave but between work and packing I may not have the time. So, I apologize in advance! Thanks again for reading! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Sorry for taking a million years to update! I got back from vacation a few days ago and got sucked straight back into work and real life and whatnot. You guys know how it is...sigh. But I finally found a spare moment, and I'm happy to be back to writing again :) I hope you haven't all forgotten about this story. I'd love to hear what you think of this chapter!**

* * *

It was nearly two in the morning when Emma finally found herself back home. She sighed wearily as she shut and locked the front door behind her. It had been quite a day, and she couldn't think of anything more appealing than falling into her bed and sleeping for hours on end.

But, as she turned away from the firmly shut door, she knew something was off. She could sense it.

She stepped quietly through the darkened loft, her eyes on high alert for anything out of the ordinary. Nothing popped out at her, but she still felt like something was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, but definitely out of place.

Something was going on.

The hissed "Emma!" when she moved to flip on a light had her pulling her gun out and whirling around to face whatever threat was here _this_ time.

But she found only a wide-eyed and disoriented Mary Margaret standing in front of her.

Emma immediately dropped her arms and let a breath she didn't realize she was holding whoosh through her gritted teeth.

"Mary Margaret, what the hell?!" She exclaimed. "I could have shot you!"

The other woman made another frantic shushing sound and then pulled Emma towards the bathroom. Once they were both inside, she flipped the light on and made sure the door was shut. Emma just looked at her as if she'd finally lost her mind.

"It's okay," Snow said immediately, raising her hands, palms facing Emma, to show she meant no harm. "We just have to be quiet."

Emma opened her mouth to reply, but Snow beat her to it.

"Don't worry, everyone is okay and everything is fine. Henry's been asleep in his room for a few hours now." She smiled slightly, "It's amazing how alike you and your father are, I had to calm him down the same way when he got back."

"You mean by terrifying him and then shoving him into the bathroom?" Emma snapped. She really was way too tired for this. "Mary Margaret, _please_, what is this all about?"

"Regina."

The name made Emma's anxiety pick right back up. What had happened? Was what Archie said true? Would Regina really…?

No, Emma forced herself to stop with that train of thought. Regina wouldn't ever do what Archie had mentioned. But for Snow to be acting this way, something must have happened. Emma opened her mouth to ask but Snow once again beat her to it.

"She's here." Snow said, her voice quiet. "Asleep on the couch."

Emma's eyes widened, "_What_?!"

Snow's hands fluttered helplessly for a moment and then let her hands fall to her sides. "Henry snuck out after you left to go see Gold. David left to look for him but it was Regina who brought him back. Apparently he had gone over to see her."

"That little shit." Emma muttered. She should have known keeping Henry away from something he wanted wouldn't work. He was her son, after all.

"Regina brought him back, and I invited her in." Snow continued. "What you said was right. She seems very closed off and deeply troubled. More so than usual, I mean. I've known Regina for a long time but I've never seen her look so…" She trailed off, not knowing how to accurately describe the state Regina was in.

Emma lifted a hand to run through her hair. "So how did she end up sleeping on the couch? That seems about as un-Queenly as it gets."

Snow shrugged. "I convinced her to sit in the living room with me because it was more comfortable than the counter. I tried to talk to her but she's just as stubborn as she's always been, and when that didn't work I just sat there with her."

Emma raised an eyebrow. "How awkward was that?"

"It wasn't, really." Snow answered, looking slightly sad. "And that's how I know something is really wrong. I didn't want to leave her alone because I think she needs us, Emma. I really think she needs a friend."

"That's exactly what Archie said." Emma slumped backwards, leaning on the bathroom sink. At Snow's confused expression, Emma decided to explain her adventures of the night. She told her mother about Gold's theory about soul mates, and then what Archie had told her about dissociating. She explained it well enough so that Snow knew the seriousness of the situation, but Emma kept Archie's warning of Regina taking drastic measures to herself. She didn't want to worry Snow, especially because the woman was already dealing with the stress of having a newborn infant to care for.

Snow took a moment to allow the information to process, then a weirdly determined expression crossed over her features. She looked at Emma with a small smile and a spark in her eye. "That settles it, then. Regina is staying with us until we figure out what is happening with her. She needs friends, and family, and it's time to be that. After everything that has happened between all of us, I think it's time for a fresh start."

"You really think she's going to stay here?" Emma tried to stop herself from snorting in disbelief, but failed miserably.

Snow shrugged. "Willingly? I'm not sure. But I think if we let her know that we really want her here, she may consider it. You know that she's spent her entire life searching for a family. Maybe she'll finally accept that she has one."

"Well then that sounds like a problem to deal with tomorrow." Emma yawned. "Right now, I'm going to bed."

* * *

Her neck hurt.

That was the first thought that registered in Regina's mind as she began to wake from her deep sleep. Her neck was extremely stiff and she had no idea why. Squeezing her eyes shut, the former Queen rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but a strange smell caused nose to wrinkle. It smelled delicious and warm and—

Regina's eyes snapped open when she realized that she was not in her own home.

The panic settling inside her chest told her to bolt upward but the reasonable side of her told her to remain still and take in her surroundings before she made any sudden movements. So, that's exactly what she did. With her eyes now open, she tried to reel in her rapidly panicking brain and figure out where she was.

She turned her head ever so slightly and took in the bright glow of the morning sunlight streaming through a nearby window, washing over the tiny loft apartment.

She was at the Charming household.

Regina's panic subsided almost immediately, but she felt her cheeks redden slightly with embarrassment. What was she still doing here? How had she allowed herself to fall asleep, especially in Snow White's house?

She should have never accepted the offer of hot chocolate last night.

"Morning."

Regina started at the scratchy, half-asleep voice of Emma Swan. From where she was still lying on the couch, Regina couldn't see the savior or whomever she was talking too.

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

The voice that replied belonged to David, and Regina quickly got her answer.

Emma grunted in response to David's question, and the scraping of a chair against the floor told Regina that she'd taken a seat at the counter.

"Same here." David replied, chuckling. There was some clinking of plates and glasses, and then David saying, "It seemed like a blueberry pancake kind of morning, I hope you're okay with that."

"Me object to blueberry pancakes? Not in this lifetime, buddy." Emma shot back, and Regina could almost picture the playful expression on her face. "I wonder if they're fit for a Queen, though."

"Why don't you go wake her up and see? It's the pancakes or some Lucky Charms and I can't seem to picture Regina eating a bowl of rainbows." His voice was light and joking, and Emma chuckled.

For her part, Regina scowled. If nothing else, at least the un-Charming's had the sense not to try and feed her unhealthy, sugary, cereal that was meant for children.

"Why don't we just let her sleep?" Emma replied. The sound of silverware clattering against a plate told Regina that the savior was wasting no time in going after her pancakes. "I mean, she hasn't exactly had the easiest past few days." Her tone was significantly darker than it had been a moment before.

"Emma…," David sighed. "Don't do this again."

"Don't do what?"

"Blame yourself."

Regina's eyebrows pulled together as she continued to lay on the couch and listen to the conversation.

"How can I not blame myself when it's my fault?" The blonde shot back. "I don't feel bad for saving Marian's life but I feel like an ass for ruining Regina's. I will fix this, David. I will find a way."

"I don't doubt that." He said calmly. "But there's no point in beating yourself up in the meantime. You can't change what happened, Emma."

The savior let out a lengthy sigh, and then there was only the sounds of silverware scraping against plates.

Regina stared at the ceiling, letting the conversation she'd just heard roll around in her head. She was surprised, to say the least. Emma had told her how sorry she was when they'd spoken the previous day, but Regina hadn't actually believed it. She knew that the Sheriff hadn't intentionally tried to hurt her, of course, but she still didn't really believe in Emma's remorse.

She was upset at the situation she had been put in, but she didn't hate Emma for bringing back Marian. If the last few years had taught Regina anything, it was that allowing her hatred to take over was not the answer. Emma had wronged her, but it wasn't a vicious attempt to make her life hell. No, it really was an accident. Something that happened because Emma was trying to be a good person and save an innocent women from Regina's wrath. She knew that she couldn't hate Emma. Especially not now, after she'd overheard how terrible Emma truly does feel about the whole situation.

Feeling a little less broken than she had since the encounter at Granny's took place, Regina moved to sit up on the not-so-comfortable couch. A gentle knock on the door interrupted her, however, and she remained lying where she'd been.

"I got it." Emma said, and Regina listened as she walked across the room and pulled the door open.

"I'm sorry to bother you so early, but may I speak with you for a moment?"

The air seemed to freeze in Regina's lungs. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't think. Every emotion that had been numb came flooding back with such a force that her eyes immediately filled with tears. She couldn't deal with this. Not that voice. Not now. Not yet.

Not him.

* * *

**A/N: Dun dun duuuuunnnn... Sorry for the cliffhanger, I just felt like that was the perfect place to end this chapter. The next one is already written so it shouldn't be too long until I update :) I'd love to hear what you thought. Any ideas about what's about to go down? Hmmm... Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sending out a huge thank you to each and every one of my fantastic reviewers! I'm still overwhelmed with the response to this story :) I love that you all like it! Without further ado, on to the drama! **

* * *

Snow groaned as the loud blaring of her alarm clock pulled her from her dreams. She swatted at it haphazardly, managing to knock the stupid thing to the floor. Well, it least it stopped beeping.

She continued to lay there, and let her eyes fall shut for a moment. Would it really be so bad if she slept in, just this once? Neal had had her up three times throughout the night, and Charming had unintentionally woken her up the other two times because of his own grumbling as he got out of bed to go check on their fussy son.

Not to mention that she hadn't actually gotten a chance to attempt sleep until the middle of the night, anyway. Last night had been quite tumultuous and Snow was pretty sure she'd gotten about two hours of _actual_ rest.

Another few hours wouldn't hurt anyone.

She rolled over and settled back into the comfort of her blankets and pillows when she heard the voices. She tried to tune them out, but was failing miserably. She could hear Emma and David but there was someone else downstairs, too.

And then she bolted from the bed.

Snow hovered at the top of the stairs, quietly, and peered down into the kitchen to see if her suspicions were correct. Of course, they were.

Robin Hood was here.

And Regina was still asleep on the couch.

_Oh no._

Snow could think of a thousand ways that this would end badly, and not one single way that it could go right. If Regina woke up to find Robin Hood here, Snow would lose the tiny bit of trust that her step-mother had shown her last night. Not to mention what seeing her former lover would do to Regina when she was still struggling with her emotions. Snow really did not want a hole blasted through the side of her house or anything caught on fire because it was in the path of Regina's fury.

Oh, no, no, no, no. This was bad. This was very, very bad.

Without a second thought, Snow was rushing down the stairs.

Robin looked up as she nearly tripped in her haste to intervene. Emma was still holding the door open, although the thief had stepped just inside. His hands were clasped in front of him and he looked extremely uncomfortable. He'd been in the midst of thanking Emma for hearing him out when Snow interrupted.

"You need to leave."

She was at his side in an instant, steering the surprised forest man towards the still opened door.

"Mary Margaret?" David's voice questioned from beside the stove.

"I, wait, at least let me explai—,"

"Not now. Not here." Snow shoved him through the door. "I really am sorry. Have a good day."

She moved to shut the door in his face but he stopped it with his hand.

"Wait, please."

Snow didn't know why she paused to hear him out. Maybe it was because she, personally, had no vendetta against him. Or maybe it was the broken quality of his voice, or the sadness in his eyes that did it. Well, whatever it was, Snow gave in to it. She nodded almost imperceptibly, and Robin Hood began to speak.

"I need your help." His voice was quiet, and he looked from Snow, to Emma who was lingering back a few feet, to David who was still holding a frying pan. "Please. I…I would like to talk to Regina, but when I went to her house this morning she wasn't there. I'm worried about her. What I did…," He trailed off and ducked his head in shame.

Snow's heart went out to him. It was clear that he was suffering from what happened with him and Regina, and it was clear that he meant no harm. No intentional harm, anyway. Snow felt torn about who she wanted to help because she truly did care for both Regina and Robin. The whole situation was a giant mess and neither of them deserved to be dealing with it. That doesn't even take into consideration what Marian is feeling, if she's even aware her husband had a relationship with the Evil Queen. _Oh Emma…_Snow mentally sighed, her eyes flickering ever so briefly to her daughter.

Robin Hood continued speaking, his tone becoming more desperate as he went on. "I made a huge mistake and I just wanted to check on her. She's strong, but…I know her." He met Snow's eyes. "When she wasn't there, I panicked. I didn't know who else to turn too so I came here. If you know where she is, please, I just—,"

"I'm right here."

The room went still as Regina's voice echoed off of the walls. Snow closed her eyes; this was exactly what she was trying to avoid. Emma was wide-eyed and, for once, silent. David didn't move. For her part, Regina stood up from the couch and walked ever so regally over to the open door.

From where she'd been in the living room, she hadn't been able to see Robin Hood. But now, standing in front of him, drinking in his smell and his caring expression, it made her entire being ache with loss.

The rush of emotion that hit her almost dropped her to her knees begging for the numbness to return. She had experienced something similar earlier when Henry showed up at her house, but standing face to face with the man responsible for her heartache seemed to flip a switch inside of her. Immediately, every ounce of anger, betrayal, heartache, and despair that she had ever felt rushed through her veins. It was so overwhelming that Regina felt like she was going to suffocate.

"Regina?"

Robin looked shocked to see her standing there. His mouth was opened slightly, eyes wide, and he stepped towards her with his hand reaching out.

"Do not touch me." Regina recoiled by curling her lip in anger and lifting her hand, fingers twitching and ready to blast him backwards if he took one more step.

Regina could feel the darkness that still remained inside of her dragging her down, pulling her towards the safety of anger and revenge. It would be so easy to hurt him, to show him the evil side of her that would make him truly regret ever getting to know the Evil Queen. He hurt her, so why shouldn't he hurt too? He already believed she was evil, so why not? What was there to stop her? She had already inflicted so much pain and suffering on thousands, what was one more? Henry would never forgive her, but she could just…disappear. Her presence wouldn't be missed. Hell, the whole town would probably throw a party. Gold would finally get rid of her like he always wanted, and Henry….Henry would be okay with his true family. He had his birth mother now and Regina knew that Emma would take care of him.

He would forget all about his adoptive mother after a few months. Maybe even a few weeks.

As Regina's mind continued to work in overdrive, her anger grew and grew. She hated herself. She hated her life. She hated _Robin_. His betrayal was the last crack in her dam of emotions. She had loved and lost so, so many times that this one was it. The last straw. She wanted to blast him with her magic for causing her so much pain, she wanted to punch him and kick him and—

The pressure of Emma's hand on her shoulder was like a bucket of ice water being dumped over her head. It instantly snapped her out of her haze. Snow had moved to her other side, positioning her body slightly in between Regina and Robin Hood. They were silent, but they were there. With her. Coming to her rescue. They were standing there, with her and not against her. Supporting her.

It was one of the very few times in her life that Regina had people supporting her.

It was like they knew what she had been thinking.

Her mouth fell open in surprise as she looked from one woman to the other.

And then Regina squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn't allow the dark thoughts to drag her down. She had fought _so hard_, she had proven that she had good magic inside of her. She couldn't be the Evil Queen anymore. She didn't _want_ to be her.

She just wanted to be Regina Mills.

The hot tears began to fall, then, as the anger drained from her body and soul; her hand fell to her side. Her shoulders sagged limply as she, finally, allowed her eyes to meet Robin's.

She was surprised to see the tears pooling in his.

"Regina," He said her name again, and it hurt. It hurt her to know that he had chosen someone else, but he still cared enough to seek her out and make sure she was okay. It hurt because she knew he honestly did still care.

It hurt because he still loved her, and she loved him, but they couldn't be together.

Snow turned to Regina, waiting for the Queen's almost imperceptible nod, then stepped out of the way. Emma backed away as well, moving to stand off to the side with her mom.

Robin took that as his sign, and he moved forward and tentatively cupped Regina's cheek with his hand. Whether it was because she was desperately craving his touch, or because she was just too tired and broken to fight anymore, Regina allowed it. The instant his palm made contact with her skin, the Queen felt strange spark go through her. It was amazing how Robin's touch could make her feel so complete even while she knew it wouldn't last. His thumb swiped at the tears and he just stared into her eyes for a long moment.

"I'm so sorry." His voice was gruff with his own emotion. With his free hand, he reached forward and took her smaller hand, squeezing it tightly. As his fingers pressed against the material of a bandage instead of Regina's smooth skin, he gently brought her hand up so he could inspect it. "Regina—,"

She shook her head roughly and looked down, her body tensing. Robin wanted to push the issue but decided against it. This was the first time he had seen her since everything that had happened, and he didn't want to ruin it just because of his curiosity. Right now, Regina looked like she was ready to poof away the second he pushed her too far and he didn't want to risk that. Taking a breath, Robin made a mental note to ask the Charming's about the bandage. In the meantime, he filed the information away to the back of his mind and tried to push past the uneasy feeling growing in his chest.

"Regina, I don't know how to apologize enough for this."

Regina didn't speak, she didn't trust herself too.

"I didn't ask for this to happen. I promise you, I never would have done this to you if it could have been avoided. That night in the diner, seeing Marian was the last thing I'd ever expected. I thought she was dead, Regina. I truly believed it." He stroked his thumb across her cheek to wipe away another tear, and the simple caring action made her lips press together in an attempt to keep the sobs from breaking free. "And now…now she's here and I love her, but I love you too. You brought light back into my life and I can't change the fact that my heart wants to be with you."

And that was what did it. The sobs broke free, and Regina's free hand shot forward to grip the material of his shirt. Robin stepped closer to her and let go of her hand so that he could brush her hair back from her face and stroke her cheek.

Regina hated how weak she looked, gripping his shirt as if it was the only anchor keeping her from sinking down into her heartache. But she knew, deep down, this was probably her last chance to be near him. As much as it hurt her, she wanted to treasure every moment with him before he left her again. Being this close to him after everything, it made her feel so strangely complete. It was like something inside of her had clicked back into place, but only for a moment.

"I'm so sorry for what I said that night when I followed you out of the diner. I will never deserve your forgiveness and I will never deserve you, not after what I've said and done. I let Marian's story cloud my judgment and my belief in you. I didn't think rationally, I got caught up in the moment. I know you aren't the same woman that locked Marian up and you haven't been her for a very long time. I'm so sorry, Regina. I'm sorry that I can't just choose you and be done with it. I'm sorry that everything got so badly messed up. I'm sorry that I still love Marian, because the last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you."

"Robin," She choked out.

He leaned forward and placed his forehead against hers, his own tears beginning to slip from his eyes. "Regina Mills, you are a wonderful, beautiful, passionate, and _good_ person. You are a hero and I swear that I will never doubt you again."

He continued holding her there for a moment, shutting his eyes to hold back his own tears. And then, he placed a warm kiss to her forehead and stepped away. With one last longing gaze and one more soft caress of her cheek, he turned and left the apartment. The door clicked softly as it shut behind him.

Regina watched him go, feeling something inside of her ripping apart as he did. The complete feeling she had when he touched her was yanked away so violently that she felt like she'd been torn in half. If it wasn't for Snow and Emma taking hold of her arms and guiding her towards the couch, she would have collapsed right then and there. Instead, they helped her to sit on the soft cushions and then placed themselves on either side of her. Emma hesitantly placed a hand on Regina's shoulder while Snow took the more direct approach of opening her arms.

And, for the first time, Regina allowed herself to lean into the hug and cry.

* * *

**A/N: I wasn't joking when I said there would be drama. Poor Regina :( There's still more drama to come but hopefully things will be able to lighten up a bit soon...or not. Thanks for reading and please don't hesitate to review. :)**

**Review reply to **_Guest_** (the one who left me the super long review, you know who you are!): First of all, I LOVED your review. You definitely left the longest review I have ever received, and I love how detailed you were! I'm so glad you're liking the story. Everything you said about Marian, I agree completely. I'm hoping the show delves into how she'll change the future instead of brushing over it. I'm not sure if I'm going to go that route for this fic, but the idea is definitely something intriguing. Since you know a little about dissociative disorder, feel free to let me know about anything specific/realistic you'd like to see happen. All I know is what the wikipedia page taught me so I'm winging it. Thanks for your review! :)**


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